


Trying to Find the In-Betweens

by InkandOwl



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/M, First Time, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other, underaged drinking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-18
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-10 00:42:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 16,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4370705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InkandOwl/pseuds/InkandOwl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's in his senior year of highschool, working as a lifeguard at the local waterpark with his friends.  While everyone is getting ready to leave for college, he's afraid he won't get into Trost University where his best friend Armin is going away too, meaning he'll be stuck at The Lagoon for the rest of his miserable life.  But it might also turn out to be the best year of Eren's life, and the year he finally admits his feelings to Armin.</p>
<p>Waterpark AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is so self-indulgent. I was a lifeguard at a waterpark for three years and let me tell you the amount of dysfunction I dealt with weekly. It was also the perfect recipe for teenage pining while everyone is wet and half naked. Also bara tiddies Erwin Smith as the head lifeguard.
> 
> The title comes from the song "Young Blood" by the Naked and Famous

_”Thank you for calling Trost Universities Financial Aid department, your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line.”_ Eren’s cellphone echoed in the locker room as he pulled his shirt off and let it fall to a heap on the wet floor. Marco glanced over his shoulder at the device, sitting in the center of the bench and gave him a small sad smile. “It’s been forty five minutes, maybe give them a call back a little later? I’m sure the traffic will die down after lunch.” He draped his whistle over his head.

Eren groaned loudly, and dramatically yanked his pants and boxers down around his ankles. Marco panicked to find anywhere in the locker room to look except for his friend naked ass. “This is ridiculous, I’m never going to be able to apply for this scholarship in time if I can’t even talk to an advisor.” He stabbed his finger at the ‘end call’ button wildly until the hold music finally stopped. “I’m gonna be stuck working at The Lagoon for the rest of my life.” The name of the water park rolled off his tongue like a curse word, “I’m gonna be the next Erwin Smith.” His eyes widened.

“I think there’s worse things in life that could happen.” Erwin’s voice made Marco jump and Eren paled. The head lifeguard calmly opened his locker next to Marco’s and threw his towel into it. Eren was stammering out apologies and Erwin just smiled kindly, “It’s fine Eren, I was just teasing you. I’ll have you know, I’m an ocean water rescue lifeguard on my days off, this really doesn’t pay the bills.” 

“I’ll say.” Levi shuffled into the locker room and slung his backpack into Erwin’s locker before he could properly shut it. He looked from Erwin to Marco to Eren and scowled, “Put some fucking clothes on, what’s wrong with you?” 

Eren managed a whispered, ‘oh my god’, before pulling on his bright red lifeguard swimsuit. Marco greeted Levi politely, and even the blackened soul of the water slide attendant was no match for his kindness. The corner of his mouth twitched in a smile. Everybody loved Marco. “Why don’t you leave your sweater in my locker?” Erwin interrupted Levi’s momentary lapse into human emotion. The tiny man just pulled his hood up and tightened the drawstrings, making what Eren could only describe as a growling noise and muttering something about ‘Fuck you, stupid sexy abs.’ 

Erwin just watched him leave, wearing a dreamy grin like Levi had just said the most romantic thing in the world to him. “I bet he was a real hoot on your wedding night.” Eren supplied and Marco had to turn a loud snort into a cough. 

“Our wedding night was lovely.” Erwin shook his clipboard in Eren’s face, “You’re on lazy river duty today.” 

“Oh, what the- Some kid always shits in the river!” Eren clapped his hand over his eyes, “I’m sorry I made fun of your husband, please can I switch to the wave pool?”

“So you can make eyes at Arlert at the concession stand? Not today, Jaeger.” Erwin handed Eren his whistle, “Marco, you’re at the diving boards.” 

Marco shot Eren an apologetic look and scurried from the locker room. ‘Fucking, Judas’, Eren mouthed, shoving his sunglasses on with more force than necessary. But like hell he would flinch and let Erwin know he had bruised his nose.

The sun was bright, blinding even, and it reflected off of the white cement with such vigor it managed to seep in underneath Eren’s glasses and piss him off. He stopped at the concession stand on the way to the lazy river and draped himself over the counter, no doubt in a way he thought made him look cool. Sasha stared at him, entirely unimpressed, french fry dangling between her lips like a cigarette. “Is this supposed to turn me on?” She moved her eyes up Eren’s suggestive posture.

“No!” He snapped, “I need a bottled water. I’m at the lazy river today.”

Sasha snorted and shoved herself away from the counter, “Armin, Eren needs water, he’s on the river.” 

Armin’s neon pink shirt would’ve been offensive on anybody else, but Eren just fidgeted and watched as Armin carefully pulled his hair into a messy bun on the back of his head. “I’m sure it won’t be bad today.” He took two waters out of the refrigerator and set them on the counter. “Take two, you need to stay hydrated in this heat.” 

There was sunscreen smeared over Armin’s nose that he hadn’t quite managed to rub in all the way, and Eren made an aborted move to wipe it off. Instead he made a fist and ground his teeth together, aggression subbing out affection. “Can I touch your abs for good luck?” Sasha interrupted his thoughts and Eren just mumbled out an agreement. It was something she did to all the lifeguards. A daily ritual of sorts. Levi snuck up beside him and grabbed a snickers bar and diet coke while Sasha felt Eren up, hoodie still firmly in place. “Can I touch your abs too, Levi?” 

“No.” He bit out, all while dismissing a water from Armin. He shuffled miserably towards the waterslides and Armin whimpered sadly. 

“Soda is just so bad for hydration.” 

“Wanna touch my abs?” Eren teased, although hopeful that he might just say yes.

Armin just blushed and shook his head, “Eren, stop it.” 

“I wonder what Levi looks like naked.” Sasha ignored the boys and Eren made haste to get away from the concession stand before the conversation escalated. He made sure to flip the bird to the swim instructor, Jean, before reluctantly climbing up the lifeguard tower to his post. 

The morning dragged into the afternoon with little more incident than having to the blow the whistle at some rowdy teenagers. Reiner was kind enough to come and keep Eren company instead of watching his own post and Eren couldn’t find it in him to remind him that it was- well- his job. “So my boyfriend and girlfriend are gonna come by for the night time swim.” He finished an explanation as to why he didn’t look half as miserable today. 

“I think that’s incredible still.” Eren picked at the foam of his flotation device, “Most of us can’t get a boyfriend _or_ a girlfriend, and you get to have both? So lucky.” 

“Well, they’re dating each other too.” Reiner explained, “I am with Bertholdt and Annie. Bertholdt is with me and Annie. Annie is with me and Bertholdt.” 

Eren just nodded, “And everyone gets to have sex at the same time.” 

Reiner shot him a thumbs up, “You got it. And what about you, Jaeger?” 

“I’ll have you know my hand is very warm and loving.” He wiggled his fingers and Reiner stared wistfully into the distance. 

It wasn’t until the evening rolled around that Erwin relieved Eren from his post, looking like a golden god in his almost too tight swimsuit. “Are you still mad at me?” Eren asked, dropping unceremoniously from his stand.

“I was never mad at you.” Erwin tells him, “You act like I don’t know who I’m married to.” 

“I’m sure Levi is much different at home.” He tried to amend.

Erwin laughed loudly, “Oh god, no. But I wouldn’t have it any other way. Crazy how love works.” 

Eren just nodded awkwardly. Levi wasn’t _totally awful_ , but he wasn’t exactly someone most people wanted to be around for extended periods of time. “I’m just gonna go- change” He jerked his thumb towards the locker room. 

The shower stalls were all empty except for one in the middle that had the water running and the curtain drawn. Eren hummed and went to work laying out his towel and shampoo when he heard a stifled groan. He peered underneath the curtain to see a freckled pair of legs kneeling between a set of slightly more tanned, unmistakably tattooed legs. Marco and Jean. Again. “Have some standards, Marco.” Eren yelled before turning on the water in his own stall, drowning out some of the cursing from Jean. “Please, don’t stop on my behalf.” He rolled his eyes and let the warm water run over him. They most certainly did not stop if the minutes without an answer were anything to go by, and finally Jean let out an embarrassing whimper. Their water shut off just as Eren was finishing scrubbing the rest of the chlorine and sweat off of his body and he sniffed, “You guys really gotta start waiting until you get home. This is the second and a half time I’ve caught you at it like this.” Eren wrapped his towel around his waist. “You should probably strive for more romance in your relationship than a locker room anyways.” 

“It’s not a relationship.” Jean snapped, slinging his towel over his shoulder. He threw a passing wave at Marco and left the locker room, flip flops popping loudly against the wet floor. 

It was impossible to miss the hurt written all over Marco’s face, “Really?” Eren was ready to beat the shit out of Jean, all Marco had to do was say the word. 

“It’s just a friends with benefits thing.” Marco muttered, lips still red and swollen from sucking Jean’s dick, “It’s not a big deal.” 

“Not when both people involved are on the same level with platonic feelings, then no-it’s not a big deal. Marco, you really really, for some unknown reason, really like Jean. So maybe this isn’t the best sort of arrangement for you to get involved in?” Eren really liked Marco, as a friend of course, and he was probably the best person he knew besides Armin. It was truly a great cosmic fuck up for someone like him to be hurt by anyone. 

Marco just smiled sadly, “I appreciate the concern, Eren, you’re a good friend.” 

“I’m not.”

“You are.” Marco soldiered on, “But maybe I would rather have meaningless hook ups with him than nothing at all?” 

Eren smacked his palm against Marco’s chest, his hand echoing wetly against freckled skin, “That is truly some of the messiest shit I’ve ever heard come out of a human being. Your therapist must be proud.” 

“Thrilled.” Marco laughed and they both startled when the locker room door was thrown open so hard it hit the wall like a shotgun going off. 

“Hey hey homos!” Connie looked truly ridiculous in his Hawaiian shirt and straw hat, and Sasha bounced in on his heels despite it being the men’s locker room. It meant that the guests had left the park. Armin came in with Levi and Erwin and skipped merrily over to Eren, his converses squeaking against the floor. Eren draped his arm over Armin’s shoulders easily and pulled him close against his naked side. “First Friday night of the season, you know what that means?” 

Everyone looked to Erwin who only shrugged, “I don’t own this place, you know.” 

“It meeeeaaaannnssss.” Connie stood up on the bench, “nighttime pool party for the employees!”

“I thought we weren’t allowed to do that anymore?” Marco looked at Eren who just nodded, “It was a really close call with the cops last year.” 

“It was.” Sasha agreed, “Which is why we’re using the excuse of ‘employee training drills’. Lifeguards need practice, right?” 

Levi sucked his teeth loudly, looking surprisingly unsweaty for the outfit of choice he had on all day, “Half of us aren’t even lifeguards. This is just an excuse to get drunk and high and live out your exhibitionist fantasies. Call it what it is.” 

“That’s exactly what it is.” Connie snapped his fingers in Levi’s direction, who just rolled his eyes. “So who wants to risk their chances of getting into a good college?” 

An uneasiness spread around the room like a bad smell but soon dissipated when a slow murmur of agreement arose from everyone there. “Wonderful, we’re gonna hit up the girls locker room and let them know now.” Connie bounced out with Sasha before anyone could tell him that that was a terrible idea. 

“I’m already accepted at Trost, so I guess I have less to worry about.” Armin joked, “Are you still planning on not going to college?” He asked Eren.

“I haven’t put much thought into it.” He lied and Marco shot him a look from his locker. He had heard Eren on hold with the financial aid office of Trost that morning, he knew.

The thing was, Armin had been Eren’s best friend since sixth grade, and was at least sixty percent of the reason Eren hadn’t gotten himself killed up until this point. When Armin’s sixteenth birthday had rolled around, he had fallen asleep in Eren’s bed after a long night of video games and crappy scary movies, and the next morning Eren had woken up before him. He had rolled over and for the first time he had really _seen_ how much Armin had changed. His cheeks weren’t as round, but still soft and pale, and his pouting red lips now looked like something Eren really, _really_ wanted to taste. 

It was a downward spiral from there. Now everything he did made Eren want to bend him over the nearest flat surface and have his wicked way with him. But now it was their senior year, and Armin would be going away to university where he belonged, and Eren would be back in their hometown working at The Lagoon like the dumbass he felt like. 

“I’m gonna go home and change, i’ll see you back here for the party?” Armin let his hand slide over the bare skin of Eren’s shoulder and Eren wanted to cry. Instead, he nodded. 

He watched Armin go and was jerked back into a _very hard_ reality when he heard snickering from his coworkers. “Be careful with that, Jaeger, you might put someone’s eyes out.” Erwin nodded to the front of Eren’s towel, where it had formed a not so subtle tent. 

Levi turned his face into Erwin’s side, shoulders shaking to indicate his laughter. Eren groaned and pulled his locker open, just to lay his head down inside. “It’s alright, Eren, you should just talk to him.” Marco patted him on the back and Eren grunted weakly. He _had_ to get into Trost.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a party and there's hella underaged drinking. So youth in revolt warning!

The parking lot was dark except for the security lights that radiated off the side of the ticket booth. “Is there really a party or is this just an elaborate plot to have us murdered?” Mikasa didn’t actually sound threatened by the idea. 

“Of course there’s a party. No one is going to park in the front, then people will know something is going on here.” Eren reached around the inside of the gate and fumbled with the lock, yanking it loose easily. 

“This place seems secure.” 

“What are people gonna steal? Pool noodles?” Eren yanked the gate open just enough for them to slip inside. 

Jean was propped up against the wall just inside, the faint orange glow from his cigarette illuminating his face. “Everyone’s in the staff lounge.” He nodded towards the metal door and Eren scowled.

“Alright, we could’ve figured that out but thanks.”

Mikasa elbowed him hard, “Thanks, Jean.” She waved to him, “You’re so socially fucking challenged.” She whispered harshly and Eren had to resist the urge to lift her up and carry her over to the pool, where he could just drop her in and leave. 

“It’s far more complicated than that.” Eren glanced back towards Jean and wrinkled his nose.

“How?” 

“He’s a total dick.” 

Mikasa stopped outside of the lounge and smiled brightly, “So are you, you two should be the best of friends.” 

Before Eren could get in a response, the door swung open followed by blaring music and Sasha threw her arms around Mikasa and Eren both. “Oh my god, you guys made it, what’s the password?” 

Eren narrowed his eyes at her, “What?”

“Yes!” She dragged them both inside and pulled the door shut. “Connie is in charge of DJing so if you have any requests, keep it to disney songs and let him know.” 

Sure enough, the room was being drowned out with “Under the Sea” and Eren abandoned Mikasa quickly to join Marco and Reiner at the old couch. He ruffled Marco’s hair and got a swat to the knee for his efforts. “Eren, hey, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Bertholdt.” Reiner motioned over probably the tallest man Eren had ever seen in person. Bertholdt shook Eren’s hand politely, muttering a quiet apology for his sweaty palms. 

“These hands have seen worse.” He supplied and Marco made a disgusted noise on the couch next to him. 

“And this is our girlfriend, Annie.” Reiner did nothing to save Bertholdt from the awkward statement, yelling over the music to a tiny blonde girl with a steely expression. “There’s our princess.” He teased when Annie came over, her face softening as she smiled politely at Eren. Reiner pulled her small frame against his chest and Eren genuinely feared for Annie’s physical well being when he thought about her with her two giant boyfriends. 

“You’re totally thinking about what they’re all like in bed, aren’t you?” Marco turned his head towards Eren, his lips brushing against his ear as he whispered to him.

Eren could only nod viciously, “Oh my god, yesssss.” He drawled out and Marco just patted his knee.

“Do you want a drink? Pixis is making White Russians in the concession stand.” Reiner offered.

“The owner?” Eren felt like he shouldn’t have sounded as surprised as he did.

“He’s pretty heavy handed on the vodka.” Annie warned, her fingers toying with Reiner’s hair aimlessly. “And it’s the cheap shit so it tastes a little bit like nail polish remover.” 

Eren mulled it over in his mind, and didn’t take long to come to the conclusion that- yes, he did want to get shit faced by a creepy bald man with a mustache. “Any of you cool cats need one?” He asked, shoving himself off of the couch. Bertholdt timidly raised his hand to about chest level and Eren waved his pointer fingers at him. 

A fresh new wave of people were slipping through the gate with the aid of Erwin as Eren crossed the dark water park to the concession stand. “Eren!” Armin’s voice cut through the night followed by Levi’s annoyed, “Shut the fuck up, Arlert.” 

Eren looked up at the starry sky and listened to the click to Armin’s shoes as he ran across the asphalt, grinning into a mop of blonde hair as Armin slotted himself into Eren’s arms. “Where are you going?” Armin asked, mostly into Eren’s shoulder as he nuzzled his face against him. 

“Alcohol, beautiful. You want something?” Eren pushed Armin’s hair off of his forehead. It was soft and felt like silk beneath his fingers and for a moment he had a strange hankering to ask him what sort of shampoo he used. 

Armin sighed against Eren’s neck, always overly affectionate with his best friend. “Who’s making the drinks.” He was looking towards the ugly yellow light inside of the concession stand. 

“Pixis.” 

“Hmmm” Armin puckered his lips in a ponderous expression, “It may kill me, but I suppose I didn’t come here to stay entirely sober.” 

“Atta boy.” Eren ribbed him, “Walk with me, I gotta get a drink for Reiner’s boyfriend too.” 

Armin kept his arm linked in Eren’s as they shuffled to the concession stand and Pixis was sitting at the register, unlit cigar in his mouth. “Oh, well hey there, when did I hire a pretty young lady like you?” He leaned forward and eyed Armin.

“Uh-” Armin looked to Eren and when he found no help there he looked back at Pixis. “I started working here last summer. And I’m not a girl.” He tacked on for good measure. 

Pixis just shrugged as if he had told him something as minor as the weather, “Semantics.” 

“O-kay!” Eren clapped his hands together, “We’re here for drinks.” The old man nodded at Eren as if he had just told him a dirty joke he was particularly proud of and disappeared into the cooler, “Three of them!” Eren called after him. “Can’t believe that dude owns this place.” 

Armin chuckled, “I wonder what he was like when he was younger.” 

“ _Do you?_ ” 

Armin actually pondered it then, “I bet he was just like you. You’re going to get old and be an eccentric old bastard running something like… a bike repair store! And you’ll tell your employees things like, ‘You should’ve seen how great I was on a wakeboard during hurricane season’.”

Eren touched his fingers to the bridge of his nose and let out a disbelieving laugh, “What on God’s green earth have I ever done to you, Armin Arlert?” More people started to line up at the concession stand and everyone’s favorite lesbian lifeguard, Ymir, shoved her way between Eren and Armin and yelled back to Pixis “Bring out all the alcohol you crazy, sonofabitch.”

“Hi, Ymir.” Eren greeted the side of her head

She jerked back to look at him as if he were an alien and then smiled, wide and predatory, “How come I don’t see you around anymore, Jaeger?” 

“Scheduling, I imagine.” He held an arm out though and let Ymir hug him.

“I’m gonna get on Smith’s case about that. Tell him that he needs to liquor up that husband of his as well and give him a good deep dicking. Anything to make him less of a tyrant.” She winked at Armin as if he was in on everything she was saying. 

Pixis set a collection of overflowing Solo cups along the counter and Eren grabbed two of them, handing the third one off to Armin, “You’re a tyrant too.” He pointed out to Ymir, who just mumbled an agreement under her breath and liberated a bottle of vodka from behind the register. “I blame the foster system.” She tipped the bottle into her mouth and took a swig as if it were water. 

It didn’t take long for too much alcohol to be consumed and someone finally pulled out the dusty old record player, digging out an extension cord long enough to accommodate for it. Eren was truly feeling it by the time someone had thrown on a droning Mazzy Star album, head tilted back against the retired roller coaster bench that had been dragged in from a junkyard years ago. Levi attempted to sit down on one of the seats, only to miss by half of his ass cheek, cursing as he straightened himself out. His thigh brushed against Eren’s temple and whatever material made up his pants felt nice against his skin. “Are these jeggings?” he picked at Levi’s knee.

“I would never.” Levi sounded appalled, but not with the usual lilt of anger that accompanied it. 

Eren felt out a flat spot on the floor that he could set his cup down and rolled his body so that his chin was resting on Levi’s knee. “Hey, can I ask you something?” Levi just stared down at him, expression unwavering, “Why do you hate everyone so much?” 

Levi rubbed the corner of his eye with his thumb and shook his head, “I don’t hate everyone. I’m tired and It’s hot outside, like, all the time, and- just- do yourself a favor, see that boy right there?” He pointed at Armin, letting Mikasa and Annie braid his hair while he did shots with Connie on the floor. “Follow him, wherever he goes. I mean- wherever. He decides he wants to go on an environmental expedition to Antarctica? Go there. Fucking, freeze your ass off. You know why? Because for some unknown reason, a smart, kind, total ray of sunshine is off his rocker crazy about you. And he’s gonna make something out of you.” Levi ended his rant by letting his head fall back against the chair. 

Eren elected to ignore the fact that Levi thought that it was Armin that was crazy about him and not the other way around. “Is that what it was like when you met Erwin?” He looked over at the giant blonde, laughing with Marco and Sasha over a game of cards. 

There was a quiet hum from Levi and Eren pulled himself up onto the bench next to him. “He could’ve had anyone in the world.” He said and then gestured down his body in a self depreciating manner. 

He was drunk and Eren had never really said this many words to Levi before. “Don’t be like that, you’re like a solid six.” 

Levi stared open mouthed at Eren as if he had just slapped him in the face, but before Eren could explain that he was joking, Levi let out a small chuckle. “Alright, fuck off, kid. Can’t an old man drink in peace anymore?” 

“You’re like thirty two.” Eren pointed out. 

He did give Levi his space after that though, figuring he had already heard more than he should’ve from him. He ambled over a few people already sleeping on the floor and Armin grabbed his ankle, “Where are you going?” His large blue eyes were glassy and his cheeks were flushed red.

“Need some air, it’s stuffy in here.” He explained, and it was the truth. He was drunker than he had intended for so early in the night and he needed to clear his head some. “Try not to miss me.” He winked and Armin just rolled his eyes.

“Try not to be _so fucking obvious_ ” Mikasa said, low enough for only Eren to hear and he stumbled more quickly for the door. 

The cement was still warm from the sun beating down on it all day, and as Eren sunk down the wall he thought he could probably take a good nap- or coma- right there. The shuffling noise in the alcove where all the lifejackets were kept caught his attention though. Jean was adjusting the buckle on his belt and when Marco tried to link their hands, he easily let them slip apart. “Thanks for the quickie.” He kissed Marco on the mouth, but not in anyway that could be misconstrued as romantic. “I’m gonna head home, i’m totally exhausted. I’ll see you Monday.” He produced another cigarette from a pack in his back pocket and settled it easily between his lips. 

Jean stumbled over Eren’s outstretched legs and only just managed to keep himself from falling over, “What the hell, Jaeger?” 

Eren attempted to flip him off but only managed the ring finger, “Fuck youuuuuu.” He drawled and Jean just shook his head in disgust, wandering away through the busted gate of the water park. 

“Are you okay, Eren?” Marco’s voice was comparatively sober sounding to the people in the lounge. 

Eren patted his friend’s cheek, “Marco-”

“Yes?” Marco just seemed amused

“You’re a good seed. We are all bad seeds, but you are a good one. A fresh good seed.” He explained and Marco just laughed. It was so kind sounding and it made Eren want to laugh too. Instead he let his hand drop to Marco’s shoulder and squeezed. “Don’t let someone use you. It’s not- it’s not fair, don’t let him use you.” Marco’s face fell and Eren instantly regretted saying anything at all. “Um- will you help me back inside?” 

It was a distraction and it worked, Marco slung Eren’s arm over his shoulder and hoisted him to his feet, bringing him back into the lounge. The party had mostly died down by then, only a few people left playing cards and the rest either gone or passed out. Armin was curled up in a two person armchair and Eren nodded towards it, “Put me on that. The chair, not Armin- well-”

“Behave yourself.” Marco placed him gently in the chair next to Armin, “Get some rest.” 

Armin cracked a bleary eye open, and upon seeing that it was Eren, quirked his lips in the only semblance of a smile he could muster and curled himself against Eren’s body. Eren wrapped his arms around him tightly and fell into a complete, blackout sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eren contends with his hangover, also Mikasa and dirty dreams about Armin. Also, Warning for a mention of depression and medication used for it.

A total of four alarms went off on different cell phones and made Eren want to get up and throw them all into the nearest toilet. His head was undulating, he could feel the world spinning even before he’s opened his eyes, and Armin’s voice was soothing and quiet in his ear. “I have to go to the concession stand, I’m on shift.” 

Eren didn’t open his eyes yet, he wasn’t ready to face the brightness of the room, “Mmkay.” He hummed.

“So” there was a faint tugging underneath Eren’s body, “I need my arm.” 

Finally, Eren decided that maybe he could spare Armin one opened eye, “But I don’t wanna.” He whined, wrapping his arms tightly around Armin’s midsection and pulling him tightly against his chest. “You’re warm and you smell nice.” 

“And you smell like alcohol and morning breath.” Armin pried himself loose. “I have a bag with shampoo and a toothbrush in my locker if you want to clean up before you go home.” 

“You’re an angel, I love you.” He watched Armin fish one of his wayward shoes out from underneath the couch. 

Armin turned a pretty shade of pink but left Eren with a fond tug on the earlobe. Eren kept his eyes on him until he was gone and just as he was about to fall back asleep, Mikasa scrambled onto the armchair next to him. “How do you feel?” She brushed his hair off of his forehead and he groaned. “Yeah, same.”

Except that she looked well put together, with only a faded shadow of last nights makeup smudged underneath her eyes. “You look like an angel, Mika.” He pulled the throw blanket up around their shoulders and Mikasa kissed the tip of his nose.

“And you look-” “Don’t lie to me” “You are still alive, and that’s what matters.” She laughed, a sleepy sound that came out in small huffs. “You were reasonably well behaved last night, I’m proud of you. You also didn’t work up the courage to tell Armin that you are head over heels in love with him though, so there is still an inkling of disappointment.” 

“I don’t know if you heard, but I just told him I love him like two minutes ago.” 

Mikasa draped her arm over her eyes and yawned, “I’m sure he took that as sincere.”

Electing to ignore her, Eren turned over and watched Erwin step carefully over the area where Sasha was spooning Connie on the floor, snack wrappers spread around them. He sat carefully on the edge of the roller coaster bench, leaning over a tiny ball of Levi, who was still sleeping quietly. Eren thought he looked peaceful in his sleep- kind, even. Very gently, Erwin kissed the curve of Levi’s slightly too large ear until he let out a sleepy noise and woke up. Instead of punching him in the face, which Eren imagined would happen to anyone else that woke Levi up, he wrapped his hand around the back of Erwin’s neck and let his husband kiss him on the mouth with a slight grin. “I have to work on the beach today, there’s some water for you right here.” He lifted a cup off of the floor and set it back down so that Levi could see it. “Do you need anything else, baby?” 

Levi just shook his head, black hair falling into his eyes and let out a raspy “no”. He brushed the back of his fingers along Erwin’s temple, “Have a good day at work, old man.”

Erwin kissed Levi’s knuckles and left him then, leaving him to roll back over and stretch across the length of the bench, his bones popping in his back. Eren glanced behind him to see Mikasa was watching them too. “That was so domestic and gay.” He mumbled and she just nodded in simple agreement. “I want that, is that terrible?” 

His sister snorted, “Well you are also domestic and gay, so-” 

“There’s nothing domestic about me.” Eren countered and Mikasa quirked an eyebrow at him.

“You bake because you think it’s relaxing.” She reminded him. 

“It is.” He sighed out, “I’m going to take a shower, I don’t want to sleep off the rest of my hangover in the staff lounge.” He dragged himself out of the chair, as much as it pained him, before he fell asleep again. Opening the door was like getting punched in the eyes by the sun and Eren swore loudly, darting in an uneven line towards the locker room. 

 

Mikasa was merciful enough to drive them both home, while Eren kept his feet propped up on the dashboard. “Please go through a drive through, I need something greasy.” He begged, a pair of his moms bedazzled sunglasses he had found in the backseat situated on his face. 

“Eren-”

“It’s to soak up the alcohol.” He informed her and even though she called him a dumbass and told him that was probably not true at all, she still pulled into a drive through. 

“Can I take your order?” The speaker crackled and Mikasa leaned back in the driver seat, eyes drifting closed.

“Large root beer please?” She decided.

Eren leaned across her, hands gripping the door frame, “I need a double cheeseburger with cheese and bacon and a large fry with extra salt.”

The speaker was silent and Mikasa made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat. “Anything to drink with that?” 

“Yes, an extra large Mountain Dew.” Eren sunk back into the passenger seat and dug through his jean pockets for a few crumpled up bills to throw is his sister’s general direction. 

“You’re short like five dollars.” Mikasa tried to unfold the money as they pulled up to the window and Eren let his head thump loudly against the window.

“Can you spot me, I got some change at home.” 

Mikasa exhaled loudly through her nose and pulled out her wallet, handing the unamused teenager in the window a twenty. 

Eren ate in the car, offering Mikasa a fry by rubbing the salty potato against her cheek and she finally ate it just to get him to stop. “So, are you going to talk to Armin before he goes away to college and meets some yuppie business major who wants to wife him up?” Mikasa cut to it and Eren made a heinous yelling, groaning noise. 

“Why are we talking about this, it’s not that big of a deal. He’s my best friend, you act like I will be the lady lead in a young adult novel. ‘He doesn’t even know my name!’” Eren waved his hands about.

“Fine, I’ll stop talking to you about it.” Mikasa sniffed, pulling into their driveway, “But you are acting like you’re in a young adult novel and if you don’t think that Armin is going to find someone who has the balls to ask him out, you’re wrong. He’s a total catch.” 

They stumbled gracelessly through the front door, “That’s what Levi said last night.” 

Mikasa let her bag drop onto the bench by the front door, “Levi called Armin a catch?” 

In the context of the conversation they had had last night, it made a lot more sense for Levi to say that. But Eren was tired, and he wanted nothing more than to drag himself into his bed and sleep off the rest of his day. He pushed his mother’s glasses up into his hair, sending it into disarray, “Actually, yes. There was more to it, it was like pseudo advice, but it a nutshell, he called him a catch.” 

She accepted it silently and veered into her bedroom, door clicking shut behind her. Mikasa and Levi had a strange relationship, in that they were actually related. And adopted. Mikasa’s parents had been friends with the Jaeger’s, and when they had passed away in a car accident, they quickly filed to take Mikasa as one of their own. In an attempt to find blood relatives of hers that might still be alive, Carla and Grisha hired a family investigator, who came back with one living cousin, Levi, who had cycled through the foster system until he was eighteen and they had turned him out onto the street. It was pure coincidence that they lived in the same town. They met up when Mikasa was eight and Levi had just turned nineteen, and though she never told Eren what they talk about or where they go, they still continued to meet up on their own once a month. Mikasa even got to be in Levi and Erwin’s wedding, which Eren would never admit to her he was a little jealous about.

The moment his head hit the pillow, Eren fell into a fitful sleep. He woke up twice to get a drink of water and once to shuck his pants off completely while he sweated out on top of his comforter. 

He was barely past the point of consciousness, when Eren felt a dip in his bed and someone crawling up next to him on the mattress. He grunted, “Mikasa, please just let me die in peace.” 

They chuckled lightly, a soft breathy sound, “Last I checked, I wasn’t your sister.” 

Eren’s eyes opened slowly then, and even in his half asleep state, he could easily make out Armin’s bright eyed face. “You definitely aren’t.” He responded, “What are you doing here, did your shift end?” 

“Ages ago.” Armin nudged his body closer to Eren’s, “I was thinking a lot about last night. Sleeping next to you and everything?” 

He was chewing on his bottom lip shyly and Eren suddenly wished he had more than just his boxers on. “You sleep next to me all the time.” He said dumbly, completely unable to react with any finesse to the words coming out of Armin. 

Armin just laughed, bumping his nose against Eren’s, “But not that close.” His hand reached up up tangle in Eren’s hair, their faces less than an inch apart, “It was different last night wasn’t it? You could feel it too.” 

Eren just nodded, his throat constricted as Armin carefully pushed him over onto his back, climbing over the top of him. “Is this okay?” He settled his hips over Eren’s, and since when had he become this confident? 

“Yeah, definitely.” Eren ran his hands up Armin’s sides, pushing his fingers up past the hem of his work shirt and sliding over smooth skin. Armin ducked down and kissed him then, soft and shy and absolutely perfect. He kissed over Eren’s jaw then, down the column of his throat and Eren let out a quiet moan of Armin’s name. 

“What?” Armin sat up, and was definitely- not- Armin? Eren cocked his head at the face full of freckles and warm brown eyes. “Eren.” Not Armin shook him “Seriously, you need to get up.” 

Eren blinked hard and stared up at Marco’s concerned face. “I was dreaming?” He asked, not particularly to Marco, “Fuck, man.” 

Marco just laughed, “I’m sorry, was it a good one?” 

“I think I was gonna get laid.” Eren propped himself up on his elbows, not watching Marco as he spread out on the foot of Eren’s bed, pulling a stack of papers out of his bag. “What’s all that shit?” 

Marco held up the papers, about as thick as a driving manual, in the air and smirked, “I printed up this scholarship Jean showed me. It’s for people who ‘provide services to their community’, and I thought you would be great for it.” 

Eren took the papers from him, “I don’t really provide anything?” 

“You. Are. A . Lifeguard.” Marco gripped his shoulders tightly, “You can apply for this scholarship _and_ you can add this into your admissions for Trost. It’s all about fluffing up your resume, and who doesn’t love rescue workers?” 

Marco’s face was beaming and Eren threw his arms around him, “I know I love _you_. Seriously, Marco? This is incredible, I probably should’ve paid you to write my application essay. You’re a saint.” He kissed Marco’s cheek and rolled halfway out of the bed to find something to write with. “Hook me up with a pen.” 

Marco dug through this back pack and a faint rattling noise immediately caught Eren’s attention. His hand darted out to snatch the pill bottle out of Marco’s bag and before Marco could take it from him, “Prozac, 60mg-”

“It’s not-” “60mg!?” “Seriously, it’s nothing.” Marco’s face was bright red as he shoved the medication into his bag.

Eren let the papers fall onto his bed, “Marco, that’s like a serious dose of antidepressant. Why didn’t you ever say anything?” 

Sliding off the bed, Marco quickly tossed a pen to Eren, “Because it’s not a big deal, Eren.” The hurt in his voice was unmistakable. 

“No, you’re right.” A sinking guilt filled Eren’s gut, “I’m sorry, I really shouldn’t have gone through your shit. You know me though, gotta keep my nose in everyone’s business.” He tried for some light teasing and Marco seemed to relax at that, even sitting back down on the bed.

“Please don’t tell anyone. Especially not Jean.” He kept his eyes cast downward and Eren patted his knee. 

“I don’t know if you knew this, but I fucking hate Jean.” He whispered and Marco let out a small laugh, “I won’t say anything to anyone, I promise.” Eren grabbed his cellphone off his nightstand and waved it in Marco’s face, “Hey, I’ll order some pizza and Armin and we’ll watch some B list scifi flicks!” 

Marco agreed instantly but laughed, “You’re gonna order Armin? Is he a hooker now?” 

Eren wiggled his eyebrows, “You never know.” He waved his phone suggestively before calling his friend.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The cosmic balance of the world feels slightly- off

Erwin called a lifeguard meeting, which meant that the rest of the staff made themselves welcome in the staff lounge as well. “I can see Erwin’s nipples through his shirt.” Sasha whispered to Connie loud enough for everyone in a ten foot radius to hear her. Most of them looked to Levi to see if he would get mad but instead he held out a thumbs up and inspected Erwin predatorily.

“We have a new lifeguard starting with us since health and fire requires more female staff on hand.” Erwin said it like standards were a hinderance to their general operation. 

Eren kept his eyes closed from his spot between Armin’s legs, Armin’s fingers massaging circles into his scalp. “We have plenty of female lifeguards.” He grumbled.

“We have Ymir.” Erwin countered. 

Ymir just threw up a peace sign, a far off grin on her face. “Her name is Christa, she’s up to date on her certifications and open water registered. Which means she’s better at this than the rest of you anyways.” Erwin continued.

“He’s been with Levi too long, that was rude.” Armin leaned down to whisper in Eren’s ear. His lips close to his ear making him shiver. 

“Is she hot?” Connie asked.

“That’s hardly appropriate, Mr. Springer.” Erwin warned and Reiner clapped an overly large hand on Connie’s neck with a low laugh.

“Yeah, but is she hot?” Ymir seemed to puff up her chest and Erwin just groaned.

“This meeting is over, those of you on the morning shift get ready and get to your posts. If you aren’t a lifeguard, I really shouldn’t have let you sit in here anyway, get out.” Erwin just shook his head and left to the lifeguard station. 

Levi was watching him go, eyebrows creased together in the center. The only thing on his face that gave away his concern. “He seems a little off?” Armin remarked quietly, cheek resting against the top of Eren’s head. 

“Poor guy, he’s probably getting too much heat.” Reiner shook his head sadly, “One time Bertholdt went camping for four days in the summer, he came back in such a mood. Didn’t shake it for a week.”

“Yeah, but Erwin loves the sun.” Levi muttered quietly, following him out to the station. 

Eren squirmed around in Armin’s arms, attempting to press as much of his body against Armin as possible, “Do you think he’s finally sick of us?”

Armin smelled nice, like sunscreen and coconuts. His skin was pale and smooth against Eren’s own tan complexion and Eren almost didn’t hear his response for daydreaming about it. “That doesn’t seem likely, he’s very patient. Something else must be going on.” Armin stood up and Eren let out an audible groan, “What about you? You’ve been particularly in your feelings lately.” 

Eren followed Armin out of the staff lounge and squinted into the sunlight, where Jean was standing with a group of five and six year olds, attempting to get them excited about swim lessons. “I’ve been nothing but my charming and lovable self.” He beamed and Armin shot him a look over his shoulder. 

“I’ll get it out of you, Eren Jaeger. I know you better than that.” He shook his finger at Eren and disappeared into the snack shack. 

Eren sighed, Jean’s swim class walking in a straight line behind him. “I need a lifeguard in the small pool, are you free?” His voice was bored and Eren couldn’t even find it in him to come up with a snappy retort.

“Erwin wants me at the diving boards, the high school swim team in practicing at noon.” He mumbled and Jean gave a little nod that was the closest thing to sympathy he could muster up for Eren. “Marco’s at the wave pool but so is Reiner, so you could probably get one of them.” 

Jean squinted in the general direction of the wave pool and bit his lip, “Okay, yeah.” He glanced back down at the kids, “Who wants to meet a real lifeguard?!” The kids all cheered and bounced around Jean and Eren watched them follow him towards the pool, “His name is Marco, and he’s a very good lifeguard-” His voice trailed off and Eren just shook his head. 

“Excuse me, can you help me?” The voice behind his was small and sweet, but confident. She was tiny with her blonde hair in a loose braid, whistle around her neck. “I’m Christa.” She beamed, perfect white teeth gleaming. 

If Eren was straight he would’ve been doomed. “The new lifeguard?” She just nodded. “I’m Eren. Did you already talk with Erwin.” 

“When I clocked in. He said I would be working under Ymir today?”

Eren’s eyes widened, “Oh boy. Well, she’s gonna be pleased. Ymir is up on the water slides today. You need to check in with Levi first, he’s up at the top of the slides, short, black hair, black hoodie, black jeans. Let him know you exist.” 

Christa only seemed momentarily overwhelmed by all of the information, “Well, it was nice to meet you, Eren.” She held up a petite hand in farewell and Eren watched her bounce over towards the water slides. It was like watching her swim towards sharks. Ymir watched her carefully, expression cool and unreadable behind her aviators. Lesbian shark, Eren thought. 

The swim team came and went and Eren wasn’t sure he would actually care if any of them drowned on his watch. The little pool with the swim classes was full of children completely enamored by Jean and his friendly lifeguard Marco. Erwin was still distracted and irritated and on his break he emerged from the staff lounge with red rimmed eyes. Absolutely everything in the universe felt off kilter. He even waved at Jean when he told Eren he was going off shift. And Jean had nothing to say about it. 

“Something terrible is about to happen.” Eren wrapped his towel around his head as he walked with Marco to the locker room, “I think maybe someone is going to drown. Like cosmically that is going to have to happen for the universe to balance itself out.” 

Marco seemed- cheerful, though. “I don’t know, I think things seem pretty alright lately.”

“Is that because Jean made you his friendly freckled sidekick today?” 

Marco refused to be swayed by Eren’s words though, “Would that be so bad, if Jean actually started to want me?” 

Eren wanted to say ‘yes’, that he deserved better than that horsefaced asshole. He just nudged Marco’s shoulder with his forehead though, “Nah, he would be so lucky.” 

“My dad’s out of town on business for the next two months, do you want to come stay the night tonight? It gets really boring being there alone for so long. I could order some pizza.” Marco pulled on his polo shirt.

“I’m gonna pass, I have some stuff I need to get done for my college applications, I really should get those sorted out.” Eren shrugged on his hoodie and missed the way Marco’s face fell momentarily. 

“No problem, we can hang out once you’re done.” 

Eren just watched Marco leave though, backpack slung over his shoulder. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he answered it blindly, not even checking the number “Yeah?”

“Eren, you have mail at home from Trost University.” His mom’s voice was excited.

“Holy shit, did you open it, what does it say?” 

“Watch your mouth,” Carla reprimanded, “I didn’t open it, I wanted to save it for you. Are you off work yet?” Eren didn’t answer her though, just hung up his phone and took off for his car.

 

For someone who had absolutely no plans on going to college, the rejection of not making it into a university hurt a lot more than Eren was expecting. He let his head fall with a thud against the kitchen cupboard, eyes unseeing on that unholy rejection letter. “It’s okay, baby, there’s other universities you could try for.” Carla put her hands on her son’s shoulders, only to have them shrugged away. 

He locked himself away in his room for the remainder of the night, ignoring even Mikasa as she knocked on his door. He wasn’t even going to school for the right reasons, and he was more than aware. Armin was going to be moving four hours away, and even though it was a reasonable enough distance, it wasn’t practical to drive up there every weekend just to see his friend. College would start and Armin would be surrounded by smarter and better looking guys than him and Eren would become “My best friend back home” in stories told at study sessions. Eren would have to live with seeing Armin go out and meet someone and fall in love all on facebook because Armin would be too shy to talk about it over the phone with him. His whole entire body felt numb. 

Eren took to shoving his phone between the mattress and the box spring so that he wouldn’t have to keep hearing it go off or feel the vibration from it, and when it was finally dark outside and his family was asleep, he slipped out of his bedroom window and grabbed his skateboard off of the back porch. 

The Lagoon was calm without anyone in it and none of the regular sprinklers and fountains going off. Eren almost didn’t hate it. He slipped through the gate and padded quietly over to the small pool, shucking off his shirt and slipping as quietly as he could underneath the surface. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he could drown and restore the cosmic balance he had been talking about to Marco earlier. The water was cool, bordering on chilly with the heaters turned off and the sun no longer glaring down on it, but Eren liked the way it felt against his skin as he drifted below the surface. 

“You know, your family is really worried about you.” Armin’s voice greeted him when he reemerged. 

Eren watched him slip his Keds off and stand on the first step. “How did you know I was here?” 

“Mikasa called me. Said you had locked yourself away. Then you didn’t answer any of my calls so I came by your house.” Armin wrapped his hands around his elbows like it was cold outside. “Saw you leaving through your window.” 

Eren sighed, but his face was still partially submerged and it just came out as a litany of bubbles. “That’s creepy, Armin.” 

The blonde boy just smiled, “Maybe.” His hair was damp looking, like he had just gotten out of the shower and Eren felt a little bad for making him worry enough to come by. A little. “Mikasa said you got rejected from Trost. I didn’t even know you applied.” Eren was grateful for the dark because he could feel the tips of his ears burning. “Eren, can we talk about this?” 

Eren pushed his hair off of his forehead, “Come swim with me.” 

“Eren-”

 

“If you swim with me I’ll talk to you.” 

Armin let out a defeated sigh, “I would but I don’t have a swimsuit.” 

Eren leaned against the wall of the pool, feet treading water, “You don’t need one. I won’t say a word to you if you don’t get in.” 

Armin rolled his eyes but carefully pulled his pastel colored v-neck over his head, “You’re so childish, this is ridiculous.” Eren just grinned beneath the dark water and watched Armin backup off of the step so that he could push his floral patterned pants down. He stood awkwardly in his briefs for a moment before tentatively moving back onto the steps. 

“It’s easier if you just jump in.” Eren remarked, swimming closer to the steps.

Armin just held onto the rail, sidestepping into the water, “Don’t you dare come closer, I know you’re going to push me in.” 

Eren had a pretty decent view of his backside while Armin slowly submerged himself and he just lifted his hands out of the water in surrender. Armin swam over towards Eren, hands gripping the wall next to his face, “I’m in the pool, now can we talk about this?”

“Sure.” Eren shrugged and Armin just frowned.

“Why didn’t you tell me you applied to Trost? I thought you weren’t planning on going to college.” He struggled to hold himself up by his elbows while he pulled his hair back into a messy bun. 

“Because.” Eren suddenly didn’t want to look at Armin anymore, “I don’t know, I guess I knew I wouldn’t get in so it’s whatever.” 

“Eren, hey.” Armin grabbed his wrist underneath the water, “Don’t talk like that. Are you afraid we’re not going to be friends anymore if I go away? Because you’ll always be my best friend no matter what.” 

Armin’s voice was soft and his eyes even softer in the moonlight and Eren felt the suspicious creep of tears. “I just want to be smart enough for you. I want to make sense in your life.” 

Armin twitched as if Eren had slapped him, “Eren, this is ridiculous, you’re-”

Eren slipped his hand behind Armin’s neck, fingers wetting the stray hair that escaped from his loose bun and pulled him into a kiss. Armin’s lips were soft and pliant underneath his, no doubt from shock and Eren knew he wanted nothing more than to kiss him for the rest of his life. “I’m not good enough for you, not to be your boyfriend at least, but I really want to.” Eren whispered against his mouth, and his voice cut out on every other word. 

Armin’s cheeks were flushed, and it was noticeable even in the dark, but he took Eren’s hands confidently and pulled him towards the stairs. He opened his mouth as if to say something, but just let his teeth click shut and kissed Eren again, small and chaste. “I really want to keep doing this, is that okay?”

“I thought you wanted to talk?” Eren teased, cockiness back for a moment. 

Armin chose to ignore him though, tugged on Eren so that he was kneeling between his legs on the stairs. Eren kissed Armin, open and desperate, hands gripping Armin’s sides. His fingers drifted over Armin’s chest, sliding over his smooth skin and over the front of his underwear and Armin let out a broken moan in Eren’s mouth, “Is this moving too fast?” Eren pressed against him with his palm, Armin already half hard. 

Armin’s breathing was coming in short pants though and he gripped Eren’s shoulders tightly, “God, probably. But I really really want this.” His voice was desperate and Eren kissed him harshly then, working Armin’s briefs off under the water and tossing them in a heap on the cement. Armin glanced back at them and then to Eren. “We’re really doing this, aren’t we?” 

Eren hummed out an agreement against Armin’s neck and hoisted him up so that he was sitting on the wall then, only his shins in the water. His knees clenched shut shyly and Eren kissed him slowly, hands pressing his legs apart. He made his way down Armin’s chest before ducking down to run his tongue up Armin’s length. The blonde let out a small whine and Eren took him all the way into his mouth. 

Eren felt every desperate noise Armin made in the pit of his stomach and the way Armin twisted his fingers into Eren’s hair and cried his name like he was pleading with him brought Eren close to the edge. 

It didn’t take long for Armin to try and push Eren off of him before he came thick and hot on Eren’s tongue. Eren just stayed firmly in place though, swallowed all of him down before placing a small kiss on the inside of Armin’s thigh. 

“So I guess you like me too?” Eren rested his head against Armin’s knee and grinned up at him. Armin just huffed out a laugh.

“I guess.” He bent over to kiss Eren on the head. “We should probably talk though now.” 

“Is talking code for fucking? Because, absolutely let’s talk.” Eren surged forward to kiss Armin’s lips and Armin laughed.

“No talking is code for talking.” Armin got out of the pool and Eren did a terrible job trying to hide the fact that he was staring very openly at Armin’s ass. “But we don’t have to tonight.” He added, sliding on his wet underwear and grimacing.

Eren follower Armin out and pulled him into a tight hug, kissing his temple, “Stay with me tonight. I’ll talk with you in the morning. Promise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> falalalala don't believe for a second that this won't get hella angsty because I am a trash human


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: this chapter includes and attempted suicide**

Eren woke up to a face full of blonde hair and he sighed happily, nuzzling his face into it. Armin let out an annoyed groan but Eren just gripped him tighter, kissing the soft skin of his neck. “You’re never this affectionate in the morning.” Armin pointed out.

“Because I’ve never been able to do this before.” Eren’s hands wandered over the expanse of Armin’s flat stomach and he nedged Armin’s legs open with his knee.

“Eren.” Armin sighed but stilled Eren’s hand. “As nice as this is, we need to talk.” 

Eren sat up, comforter wrapped around his shoulders, “Alright, I guess. What do you want to talk about?”

“Well- us.” Armin gestured between them 

“I thought it was pretty obvious how I feel about you now.” Eren’s hands twitched with want to drag them over every inch of Armin’s body. 

“It is.” Armin pulled himself up, “And I like you too. A lot, actually, I’ve had a crush on you since middle school. But this isn’t seventh grade, and I’m going to be leaving for college once the summer is over.” 

Eren didn’t want to think about Armin leaving for college and he swallowed hard, like it was a particularly nasty pill, “It’s only four hours away, though. I could come stay with you on the weekends. Or you could come back here if i’m working.” 

Armin chewed on his lip, guilt flashing across all of his features, “Actually- I sort of got accepted to an internship program through the university.” He rubbed his hands over his knees, “Only a few freshman get the opportunity to do it, but it covers multiple credits and I would get to study with acclaimed historians in the field.”

Eren lit up then, hands gripping Armin’s shoulders tightly, “Armin, that’s incredible! If anyone deserves it, it’s you. You work so hard, and you’ve always done so well-”

 

“It’s in Ireland.” Armin interrupted and Eren’s mouth snapped shut. “It’s in Ireland and it’s for an entire year.” 

His body felt numb then, the thought of an entire year without Armin echoing loudly in his mind. “Oh. We could- we could just do the long distance thing, right?” Eren hated the way his voice sounded so desperate and broken, even to his own ears. “We can skype and stuff, that would be alright.” 

Armin’s eyes watered and Eren felt nauseous, “Eren, I don’t think that’s a great idea. I have- I have to stay focused on my studies, a relationship would be- distracting.” He ended weakly, eyes focused on the patterns in Eren’s sheets.

“So-” Eren’s voice cracked and he cleared his throat to try again, “So just like that, you don’t even want to give this a shot?” 

Armin slid out of Eren’s bed, slipping his shirt from last night over his head, “Eren, it’s not easy for me, but I have to think about my schooling right now. If you really care about you, you would understand that.” He snapped.

Eren stared at him, words completely failing him, “I think you should go.” He felt ill and Armin scrubbed his hands over his face,

“I didn’t mean that, I know you care-”

 

“Just, leave, Armin.” He stood up and grabbed his work bag, “I have to be in for my shift, anyways.” 

The look on Armin’s face made Eren’s chest ache, but he simply stood to the side, allowing Armin to shuffle out of his bedroom. 

He didn’t have work, not for another four hours, but Eren still rode his bike over to The Lagoon and let it fall over on the bike stand. Jean was leaned up against the ticket booth, cigarette burning between his fingers and he lifted an eyebrow at him. “Such aggression towards everything, Jaeger.” He sneered and Eren slapped the cigarette out of his hand.

“Fuck you, Jean. Standing around all the time like you know absolutely everything about everyone. Do you think you’re above us because you’re a swim instructor? Because guess what? You still work in this total shit hole like the rest of us fuck-ups. Not to mention you have the nicest person here wrapped around your finger ready to marry you and you treat him like shit.” Eren tried to stomp on the cigarette, only to miss in his frustration and let out a stifled yell. 

Jean for once looked at a loss for words, “I didn’t- I don’t treat Marco like shit.” 

“That’s all you got from that?” Eren snapped, “I said how many other things and that’s it? And it’s not even fucking correct.”

He managed to shove Jean out of the way and stormed into Erwin’s tiny office, slamming both of his hands down on the lopsided desk, “I quit.” 

Erwin looked exhausted, and he regarded Eren with a vacant expression, “I think maybe you should have a seat.” Eren thought about protesting, but ultimately he grabbed the extra rolling chair and pulled it up. “Is there a reason for this sudden outburst? I’m aware this isn’t the most rewarding job, but you’ve never voiced any want to leave.” 

Eren’s heartbeat was rabbiting in his chest and he took a few deep breaths, the adrenaline starting to wear off. “Do you think I’m a loser? Like everyone around me is going to end up going somewhere in life and I’m going to be the one that ends up working here until I ultimately drown myself in the lazy river?” 

Erwin sat back in his chair and sighed, fidgeting with his wedding ring. “I don’t think you’re a loser. I think you are a frustrated young man who is not getting everything he wants at this very moment.” The words were like a sharp slap across the face and Eren felt his mouth fall open slightly. “Listen, Eren, you are a bright kid. You might not be the collegiate type, but you are not the minimum wage for the rest of you life, type either. College isn’t for everyone, simple as that, but it doesn’t make you any less of a contribution to society for it.”

“I feel like a total waste-oid.” Eren muttered, picking at the fabric of his seat.

“Is this about Armin?” Erwin asked. When Eren said nothing, Erwin leaned forward on his desk, “I’m going to give you some very honest advice. As an old man who has been through the trials and tribulations of love, and cares about you, do not hinge the rest of your life on whether or not you can be with a certain boy.” 

The words sunk in like heavy stones and Eren fidgeted in his seat, “That’s like the total opposite of what Levi told me.” 

Erwin’s face drained of color then, “Is it?”

“Yeah, he said he pretty much lives his whole life based you. Because he knew you were what was best for him.” Eren watched Erwin carefully, the way he blinked rapidly as if holding back tears. “Are you okay? Like, I know it’s not really my place to ask, but is everything between you and Levi alright?” 

In that moment, Erwin appeared possibly more exhausted than he had before, “I don’t know. I found- I found some emails, texts- stuff like that. He’s been meeting up with some guy named Mike.” 

Eren’s heart sank for Erwin, “You think he’s cheating on you?” His gut reaction was to go find Levi and drag him down from the water slides by his hair, but he was sure that would get him killed. “Do you know for sure?” Erwin shook his head, pinched the bridge of his nose, “You should talk to him. I mean, you two are married, isn’t communication like a key thing here?” 

Erwin laughed but there was no humor to it, “Yeah, I will. Just holding off on the inevitable.” 

Eren stood up then, “I guess I should get ready for my shift.” He mumbled

“Changed your mind about quitting?” 

He just nodded, patted Erwin on the shoulder and dragged himself to the locker room. Jean was already inside frowning at his cellphone. “This place sucks, everything is going to shit. Even Erwin is miserable.” Eren banged his forehead against the locker and then promptly rubbed it.

“Eren-” 

“I know, I know, I’m whining and you don’t want to hear it.” He sighed against the cool metal of the locker.

“No, I really-” Jean held his phone up in his hand.

“Whatever, dude, I’m just getting changed i’ll be out of your shitty hair in a sec-”

“Eren!” Jean’s voice had such a desperation that Eren actually shut up for once, “Something is really wrong with Marco.” 

There was a tremble to Jean’s hand and Eren swallowed, “What do you mean?” 

“I came in here to call him, because of what you said- I- I wanted to talk to him about some things- Anyways, he had already called me though. He left a message.” He handed Eren his phone and Eren hit the small play button on the screen, holding it to his ear.

“Hey, Jean.” Marco’s voice was shaking, like he was crying. “Um, I’m sorry I’m a little scared but- some things in life just- they shouldn’t be left unsaid, ya know? I-” There was a pause, Marco let out a tiny sob, “I love you, Jean and I’m really sorry. Please don’t blame yourself for this, just know that I loved you.” The message ended and the silence banged around in Eren’s head.

“Fuck.” Eren whispered, “Fuck! Jean, a car, we need a car, right now.” 

The two of them both skateboarded or rode their bikes to the park and Eren threw the locker room door open, almost hitting Levi in the face. “What the fuck-”

“Levi, please, I think Marco is dying we need to his house _right now_ ” Eren pleaded and Levi, thank god, was a sharp enough man to register what was being said quickly. 

He walked swiftly, with the boys on his heels, “Call 911 right now.” He snapped as they piled into his shitty old Pontiac. Jean was on it while Eren told Levi directions to Marco’s house. 

Jean’s conversation with the emergency operator was muffled to Eren’s ringing ears, but things like “I think he tried to kill himself” and “Please, you have to help him”, cut through the noise and Eren felt his breathing become constricted. Levi’s car hadn’t even come to a full stop in the driveway before Eren was throwing himself out of the passenger seat, stumbling over the pavement. The front door was locked and Eren swore loudly. 

“Move, fucking move.” Jean shoved Eren out of the way and lifted the welcome mat to the side, revealing a spare key. He jammed it into the lock and the moment the door swung open he was inside. “Marco!” He yelled but when there was no response he took the stairs two at a time to get to his bedroom. 

It was something that had burned itself into the forefront of Eren’s mind for months. Marco, prone and pale of the bedroom floor, an empty bottle of pills on the nightstand. Jean collapsed to his knees, cried out for the other boy, shaking him like it would help and Eren hadn’t even noticed that the tears were falling heavy and hot then from his own eyes. 

Levi kneeled next to Jean calmly, pressed his fingers to Marco’s pulse, “He’s still alive, Jean, but I need you to calm down. Can you help me sit him up?” His voice was so even it was the only thing keeping Eren and Jean anchored. Jean just nodded, draped Marco’s arm over his shoulder and pulled him upright, his head lolling forward. Nothing about him appeared alive. Levi wrenched Marco’s mouth open and violently shoved two of his fingers into the back of Marco’s throat. It was most definitely not standard protocol, and had the paramedics been there, they most likely would’ve screamed at the sight of Levi’s poor form. But Marco gagged and retched stomach acid down the front of Levi’s arm and onto the floor. At the sound of the front door banging open Levi cried out, “We’re up here.” 

Paramedics filled the room, carrying Marco away on a stretcher and leaving the three men to stand alone in Marco’s room. The silence was only broken up by the quiet hiccups of Jean’s crying, but Eren kept his eyes on Levi. He was staring at the carpet where Marco was only moments before and let out a tired sigh, “He’s gonna be alright. He’s gonna be alright.” He said it outloud but Eren was sure he was reassuring himself. His phone was vibrating in his jean pocket and he fished it out with his clean hand. “Hey.” 

Erwin’s voice was distinct over the speaker and Levi just listened patiently, “We’re at that Marco kids house right now. I need-” His voice hitched slightly and Eren couldn’t tear his eyes away from him. “I need you here. Please.” The please was a small whisper and he hung up before he could get a response. He tossed his keys to Jean, “Go meet him at the hospital. He’s gonna need some friends who can actually pull their heads out of their asses and start thinking about someone else’s problems for once.” He snapped and the words were bitingly cold. Jean left before he could say anything else, leaving Eren alone with him.

“I don’t think you’re one to judge who we are as friends, when you’re cheating on your husband.” Eren felt his hands curling into fists, emotions erratic. 

Levi’s grey eyes narrowed dangerously, “Excuse me? You have no place saying shit like that about me.” 

“Oh, but you can say whatever the fuck you want about everyone else, is that it? Levi Smith, so perfect and cool, the rest of us proles could only hope to be like him.” His voice grew louder and Levi stepped closer to him. 

“I don’t give a shit what you have to say about me as a person, but don’t you dare suggest I would be anything but faithful to Erwin.” His fingers curled into the front of Eren’s shirt. 

Eren laughed sarcastically, “Oh? Then who’s Mike?” 

Levi blanched visibly, “How do you know about Mike?” 

“ _Erwin knows about Mike_ ” Eren snapped.

Levi let Eren go and stepped back to collapse into the chair at Marco’s computer desk. He let out a choked out chuckle but his eyes were growing wet, “It was supposed to be a surprise. A gift for him.” Eren was confused then. “Mike was a friend from the foster system. He became a firefighter after he got out. I was trying to get into the EMT program so that I could become a paramedic eventually. The program is so full all of the time, Mike did me a favor and got me into the test early, but I had to do extra studying and training just to pass it. I was trying to make myself a better person- a better husband- and actually provide for Erwin too.” 

“Levi” Erwin’s voice was quiet from the doorway.

“You thought I was cheating on you?” Levi didn’t get up from his chair and Eren suddenly felt incredibly claustrophobic in the room with them. “I would never do that.”

Erwin grasped awkwardly at the door frame, “I didn’t know what to think, I saw all the texts and the emails and it just looked-”

Levi crossed the floor quickly, wrapped his arms around Erwin’s waist and buried his face in his chest. They said nothing, just held each other until finally Levi explained to Erwin what had happened to Marco. “Do you want a ride to the hospital?” Levi asked Eren, eyes red from tears and he just nodded. 

“Why is everything so shitty right now?” Eren kept his arms wrapped around himself and Levi just shook his head.

“I don’t know, kid.” He took a deep breath, “It can only get better from here though, right?”

Eren glanced between Levi and Erwin. “Yeah.” He breathed out.


	6. Chapter 6

Sasha and Connie showed up around midnight with a grocery bag full of snacks. “We brought him the good shit so that he doesn’t have to eat the crappy hospital food.” Connie said proudly, shaking a box of gushers. 

Eren kept his eyes squeezed shut, a migraine forming in the front of his head. “He just had his stomach pumped he’s not going to want to eat.” 

Reiner grunted next to him, his large frame spread out across two seats, “He’ll appreciate the sentiment, I’m sure.” 

The young nurse at the station glanced over her computer monitor at them, eyebrows furrowed, “Why don’t you all go home, visiting hours aren’t until nine tomorrow morning.” It was her second time telling them, and none of them responded to her. 

Jean was slumped in the seat on the side of Eren that wasn’t occupied by Reiner and he kept a vacant stare at the tile floor in front of him, corners of his eyes bruised from crying. “He’s alright, you know? They’ll take care of him, they’ll have him good as new. I bet you can even bring him home when they dispatch him.” Sasha picked at a ball of lint that clung to Jeans hair. 

“They’re not going to dispatch him, he’s going to the psych ward.” Jean said lamely.

It was hard to see someone so torn up and Eren nudged him only slightly with his shoulder, “It’ll be good for him, they’ll get him the help he needs.” He said quietly. “And it’s not your fault he tried to do this. Marco is sick, only doctors are gonna be able to get it all right.” 

Jean sighed, leaned far back in his chair until his head was resting against the back of it, face tilted towards the lights on the ceiling. “The way I treated him definitely didn’t help.” Eren couldn’t disagree with him so he stayed quiet. “I’m not ashamed of him, I really want to be his boyfriend. Wanted to, I guess- whatever is happening now. My old man would never let it happen though, ya know? He’d beat my ass, he’d- he’d hurt Marco.” 

Reiner’s breathing was even next to Eren, and if he wasn’t staring seriously at Jean it would be easy to believe he was asleep. “Your dad is a bigot?” His voice is low and comforting in the hustle of the emergency room. 

“The religious sort.” Jean smiled but it was without humor.

“My dad was a neo-nazi.” Reiner grunted and Eren looked up at him in shock. “ _Was_. Old bastard passed away from a heart attack a couple years back. All that hatred will fuck with your arteries.” 

Jean was watching Reiner carefully, as if any words that might come out of him next would be gospel. Eren widened his eyes at him before looking back to Reiner, “Did he know about you? How you’re like, bisexual or poly-something?” 

Reiner chuckled and it was a low rumbling in his chest, a giant hand clapping Eren’s shoulder, “Oh yeah. I met Bert before we met Annie, so it was just me and him for a while. Caught us going at it on the living room couch one time, tried to shoot my balls off with a shotgun.” Eren steepled his fingers in front of his mouth and studied Reiner carefully.

“Your life is real weird, man.” He murmured and Jean grunted in agreement behind him.

“Definitely. But my advice to you would be this, your life is not your parents life. It’s always hard to do something against their wishes, but at the end of the day, if it’s forcing you to be someone you’re not, you have to push back.” He gestured vaguely to the curtained rooms, “We all almost lost Marco, any of us could go any minute, so just fuck it.” 

They stayed silent, watching Reiner nod to himself in his chair. “Fuck it?” Jean asked.

“Fuck it.” Reiner reassured him. 

The automatic doors hissed as they slid open and Armin looked like he was running on an hour of sleep as he shuffled in with two coffee cups in his hands. Eren swallowed hard and offered him a weak smile. “Hey, I had to wait outside until someone left, they gave me a hard time about coming in. I got- I got you a coffee because I know you’ve probably not slept and-”

Eren liberated a cup of coffee from Armin, “Thank you.” He let his hand brush over Armin’s, a small sign of forgiveness in the moment. Armin let out a little hitched breath and a shaky smile. His eyes were rimmed red and Eren hated seeing him like this, despite how they had left things.

“How’s- How’s Marco doing?” He clutched his own coffee tightly against him with both hands. 

“He’s gonna be alright.” Jean supplied, and Eren didn’t miss the slight flash of disappointment aimed towards Jean as he spoke. A part of him blamed Jean for what happened. “We’re waiting for them to discharge him from medical and transfer him over to psych, the nurse said we could see him then.” 

Armin’s eyes dropped to the floor, eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks, “When is that going to be?” 

“At least twelve more hours, he’s gotta be stable for twenty four hours.” Reiner reached out and squeezed one of Armin’s small hands in his.

Eren worried his bottom lip between his teeth, he didn’t want things to be strained with him and Armin. He wanted to hold his best friend and know he was still there and forget that he had just found one of his closest friends on the brink of death that morning. Reiner nudged him hard and Eren looked up to his big stupid grin. “Fuck it?” he asked and Reiner nodded.

“Fuck it.” He agreed.

“Fuck it.” Jean added quietly.

“What?” Armin wrinkled his nose and Eren stood from his seat, knees popping loudly from sitting for so long. 

“Let’s go for a walk, Jean will let us know if anything changes.” Eren draped his arm over Armin’s shoulders and steered him towards the door. He was tense and Eren could feel it in the way he pressed against the line of Eren’s body. “Are you okay? I mean after everything that happened with Marco?” 

Armin ran the back of his hand under his nose and glanced up at Eren, “I think I should be asking you that.” He stopped, shrugging out from underneath Eren’s embrace. “Eren, I heard about how it happened, everyone was talking about it at the park, Erwin even sent everyone home early.” 

“That’s so dramatic-” Eren found that he didn’t want to recount, but he could feel that he was going to.

“Eren.” Armin rounded in front of him, hands bracing his shoulders. “You found him. You and Jean and Levi, they said the three of you found him.” 

Eren breathed in, so deeply that his lungs hurt and made him hiccup. “I didn’t- I didn’t save him or anything that was Levi.” He twisted around awkwardly, searching for anything to distract him. He looked up at Armin though, who was watching him with sad blue eyes. “He looked really bad. It didn’t- look like Marco, you know?”

He didn’t know he was crying, or when he had started, but Armin crowded into his space, rubbed the pads of his thumbs underneath Eren’s eyes, “Oh, Eren.” His voice was shaking and Eren gathered him into his arms, held him like he might slip away into nothing. 

“I’m sorry, Armin, I’m so sorry” He buried his face in Armin’s hair, sobbed against him, and Armin kept his hands gripped tightly around the back of Eren’s neck. “I didn’t mean what I said, the other morning, I just don’t want to lose you.” His voice was shaking and cut out in between sobs but Armin just kissed along Eren’s cheek bone.

“Shh, it’s okay, Eren, I’m here.” A few tears escaped from Armin’s eyes and he brushed them away quickly. “I don’t want to lose you either. I thought about what you had said the whole day when I was at work. I’m afraid of what’s going to happen when I leave for Ireland, I won’t know anybody there and I won’t see any of my friends or my grandfather for a whole year. I kept thinking, ‘how could I start a relationship and then leave them behind?’” Armin twisted his fingers together in front of him, “And it’s really selfish, but I would rather be with you and not get to see you for a year than not have you at all and hope that you still feel the same way when I come back.” 

Eren’s heart thumped wildly in his chest and he attempted a few words, that mostly just came out as syllables, before he covered his mouth with his hand and studied Armin as if he were a statue in a museum. “Holy shit.” He breathed out and Armin furrowed his eyebrows at him, “Are you- are we, like gonna be a thing now?” 

Armin rolled his eyes but wore a fond smile, “I thought maybe we could give it a shot?” He still looked nervous though, smile slightly worried, “If you wanted to that is. I mean, I would understand if you didn’t anymore with everything-”

Eren didn’t let him finish though. He pulled Armin close against him and kissed him hard, fingers tangling in his blonde hair. It felt better even than their kiss at the pool, Armin holding onto Eren’s shirt like he was trying to occupy as much of his space as possible. “We should go home. You need some sleep.” Armin kissed Eren again, softly and he let his hand linger on the front of Eren’s chest. 

“Mmm, I’ll leave with you but I really don’t want to sleep.” Eren muttered against Armin’s lips, hands grasping at Armin’s hips suggestively. Armin was wearing what Connie had dubbed his ‘Very Serious Mom Face’, though and Eren groaned, “Just a little making out?” He pleaded but Armin held firm.

“Sleep, Eren. Come on, I’ll drive you.” He laced his fingers in Eren’s and dragged them both to the parking lot. 

Eren let himself be arranged into the passenger seat of the car and closed his eyes as he listened to Armin talk about how he had gotten Bertholdt’s number after the party because they had gotten to talking about carrot cake recipes and that he had great home improvement tips. The thing was, Armin hated baking and Eren knew it, the only reason he would have to get baking tips is to pass them along to Eren and he smiled, head pressed against the car window. It felt nice to hear Armin’s voice. Soothing and sure and distracting from all of the horrible things that had happened in the past two day and Eren felt the knot of dread that had made itself at home in his stomach slowly unfurl. 

“I have some lavender tea, it’s really good for relaxing, I’ll put some on for you. And I washed my really soft sweater so you can change into it to sleep if you want.” Armin rambled as they pulled into his driveway, car rattling to a stop. “My grandfather is probably asleep so just make sure you stay quiet, don’t kick your shoes off against the wall.” 

“I don’t do that.” Eren huffed out, struggling to stay awake.

“You do.” Armin shook his keys in Eren’s face. “Do you want a shower before you go to bed?” 

Eren just stared at Armin though, warmth spreading through him at the way Armin’s cheeks reddened under his gaze. “Armin.” His name felt familiar- comforting, in it’s weight on his tongue.

Gripping his keys tightly against his chest, Armin worried his bottom lip, “Am I asking too many questions? I’m just worried about you, I don’t want-”  
“I love you.” Armin’s mouth shut then, teeth clicking together and he stared at Eren. Eren grabbed Armin’s hand and kissed his knuckles gently, rolling unceremoniously from the car, “Don’t freak out, I just wanted to tell you.” 

He pushed his way into the house with a loud yawn, despite Armin’s earlier request for him to be quiet, and did in fact kick his shoes off against the wall. Armin followed behind him like a ball of nervous energy. “Were you being serious, Eren? Was that like a ‘you’re my best friend and I love you because you let me play first controller’ or like, ‘I love you because _i love you_ ’ sort of thing?”

Eren took Armin’s face between his hands, kissed him slow and deep and smirked against his lips when a small moan escaped Armin. “I. Love. You. I love your pastel sweaters and your hot pink hair bands. I love the way you play the ukulele and do covers of rap songs. And I love the way your back curves when you’re stretching and your nose wrinkles right on the top, and I love you. I just really really love you.” He brought his hands up underneath Armin’s sweater to run over the soft skin of his sides and Armin’s eyes welled up with tears, “Is that okay?” 

Armin just nodded, let Eren drag him upstairs with him, collapsing onto Armin’s bed with a soft grunt, “Come sleep with me.” He mumbled against the pillow. Armin flushed a bright red and Eren chuckled, “Not like that, well- not until I’m more awake. Just stay with me right now.” 

“So you want a body pillow?” Armin rifled through his dresser, producing a large sweater and throwing it at Eren’s face. “Change first, you smell like a hospital.” 

Eren dragged his jeans off of his hips and barely managed to work his shirt off. He spread as widely as his limbs would let him across Armin’s mattress, not caring that he was only wearing his holey pair of bright red boxers. “I’m changed.” He announced, pulling Armin down by his wrist and collecting him partially underneath him like he was a ragdoll. “Perfect.” He breathed out against Armin’s hair and Armin just let out a defeated breath of air. 

As Eren was on the cusp of deep sleep he felt his fingertips gently placed against Armin’s lips and heard him quietly whisper, “I love you too.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is like an in between. A porn in between if you will. Two thousand words of gay sex and it's all for you. I've been super busy with real life because of work BUT- but..... I am stumbling upon some free time here soon, so I will be churning out some more for you. But honestly, what's more quality than porn? 
> 
> Also, Isayama is a lying sack of shit talking about "Eren and Armin are gonna drift apart" like lol no you just gave us a romcom chapter about them in the latest update goodbye. So let's celebrate Eremin with some bangin!

Armin’s grandfather always kept the house at a temperature Eren liked to refer to as ‘Arctic Tundra’, and in the morning when he finally woke, he was grateful for it. Curled up around his bare torso was Armin, nuzzilng against Eren’s chest with a sleepy yawn. He brushed Armin’s bangs out of his face and kissed his forehead. “How did you sleep?” Armin stretched out next to him, blinking slowly.

“Incredible. This bed feels amazing, why did we have so many sleepover at my place all these years?” Eren scratched at his stomach.

Armin pushed himself up, oversized sweatshirt falling off one shoulder. “You know how the old man feels about sleepovers. He loves you but he says you’re too loud.” 

“He’s probably not wrong.” Eren buried his face in Armin’s pillow, inhaled the scent of clean laundry and Armin’s coconut shampoo. His next line of questioning was going to be something along the lines of ‘what time do you want to head back to the hospital?’ or ‘are you working today?’, but Armin was dragging his sweater off, expanse of pale white skin on display and he crossed an arm over his chest shyly. So Eren’s next question came out as more of a “Wha-?”

“Grandpas at work, he left about an hour ago.” Armin dropped forward onto his palms, leaning over Eren slightly, “Maybe we can stay in for a little bit longer?”

“And do what?” Eren asked dumbly, eyes glued to the curve of Armin’s hipbones, his hands fisted underneath his pillow. Armin pulled his knees up, hooked his thumbs under the elastic waistband of his underwear and pushed them off slowly, cheeks a pretty shade of pink as he moved his underwear over his ankles. “Oh my god.” Eren choked out, cock stirring against the mattress at the sight of Armin sitting before him completely naked. “Can I touch you?” 

Armin folded his hands between his legs but it did nothing to hide his erection, “I was sort of hoping you would?” 

Eren’s up on his hands and knees in an embarrassingly quick flash when he tackles Armin backwards on the bed, pressing as much of his body down to cover Armin’s skin. “God, you don’t know how beautiful you look right now, you’re driving me wild.” 

Armin arched his back, moaning as Eren attached his mouth to his neck with heated kisses. He grinded his hips up against Eren, already leaking and impossibly turned on. “Want you so bad.” He breathed out, fumbling to push Eren’s boxers down and whining when he can’t quite get the angle right to get them off. “I need you to take these off, I need you to fuck me.” He whimpered.

Eren choked, eyes wide on Armin, “What, really?” Armin just nodded, writhing against the sheets underneath Eren like he was in heat and Eren practically ripped his boxers off, falling gracelessly onto his side, “You’re like, really really hot when you’re like this.” Eren huffed pushing Armin’s legs apart with his knee, “Do you really wanna- you know? Or are you just like, saying shit cause you’re horny?” 

Rolling his eyes, Armin leaned up on his elbows and reached between them to wrap a hand around Eren’s cock. “I’ve been thinking about this since we were fourteen, do you know how hard it is to have to watch you wander around in a bathing suit every day looking all tan and-” He stroked Eren as if to make his point and Eren let out a gasp, “If you won’t get on with it i’m going to hold you down and ride you myself.” 

He had never seen his best friend be so confident about anything in his life, and Eren was so overcome with watching this sex driven, _terrifyingly hot_ , side of Armin he mentally slapped himself to step up his game. “You’re fucking asking for it.” Eren muttered with the bravado he only reserved for personal challenges and Armin bit his lip and giggled- _fucking giggled_. “Lube?” 

“Nightstand.” Armin jerked his head slightly to the side and Eren leaned over the bed to reach about in the drawer until he found the bottle. 

Eren pushed Armin’s knees up, kissed the inside of his thighs while he slicked up his fingers. He teased at Armin lightly, pressed his thumb against his hole without pushing inside. “You ever done this?” He switched to his pointer finger, let it slowly work in.

Armin let out a small moan, precome dribbling onto his stomach, “I’ve done it sometimes when I’m alone.” 

“When you’re getting yourself off?” Eren grinned wickedly, working his finger deeper inside of him and twisting it, “Did you think of me when you did it?” 

Eren slowly worked a second finger in, moving them inside of Armin slowly, “Y-yes.” Armin gasped, “Wished it was you instead.”

The idea of Armin alone in his room, fucking himself on his fingers and imagining Eren in that place instead was more than he could handle. Eren leaned forward, kissed Armin wet and slow while he spread him open, “I’ve never done this before- had sex with anyone.” He admitted, “You have to tell me if it doesn’t feel good, okay?” 

Hurting Armin was the last thing he wanted to do in his inexperience and he kissed Armin a few more times, more sweetly and soft. Armin nodded, a pretty red flush over the bridge of his nose, “I’ve never been with anyone either.” 

Eren leaned back on his heels, slicking himself up and rubbing the inside of Armin’s thigh soothingly. He lined himself up at Armin’s entrance, pulled Armin’s thighs up over the top of his to get comfortable. Armin tensed when Eren pushed slightly inside, “Relax, baby.” 

“Eren.” Armin covered his face with his hands at the pet name. Eren pushed himself in a little more and Armin gritted his teeth.

“Does it hurt?” Eren placed his palm gently on Armin’s stomach, spreading his fingers wide to cover as much skin as possible. 

Armin seemed to think about it, teeth clenched as he closed his eyes against the intrusion. Finally he shook his head, “Doesn’t hurt, just- strange.” 

Taking his flagging erection in hand, Eren stroked Armin until he began to relax, body allowing Eren to push in until he was entirely seated inside of him. From this angle, Eren could see himself buried deep in his best friend, and it took all of his effort not to come just from the sight. “Tell me when you’re ready.” He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to regain control.

Hands wrapped around his wrists, and Armin pulled Eren forward to lay chest to chest. He kissed the tip of Eren’s nose gently. “You really want to move don’t you?” 

His voice was wrecked, but there was a teasing lilt to it. Eren huffed out a laugh, “Fucking, yes.” He peppered Armin’s jaw with quick kisses, “But I want you to feel good, more than that.” 

Armin wiggled in Eren’s grip then, pushed himself further against Eren and moved his hips slowly until he found a position that made him cry out, “Oh god, oh god, _Eren_ ” He drew out Eren’s name with a long whine. It was absolutely filthy sounding and Eren gripped Armin’s hips tight, thumbs digging into the soft skin next to his hip bones. “S-slowly, just start slowly.” His voice trembled and Eren wasn’t going to turn down that request.

Eren was convinced he was going to bite a hole in his lip from the amount of concentration it took for him not to pile into Armin with reckless abandon. He angled his hips to brush against the spot inside armin that made him whimper and pull at the small of Eren’s back as if he were trying to drive him in deeper. “God, Armin, you’re gonna kill me. Look so good like this.” Eren breathed out, hips snapping in a little faster.

The breathy little noises that Armin made while Eren pressed rushed, sloppy kisses to the side of his neck made Eren have to grit his teeth and quietly mumble out, “I’m sorry, I’m not gonna last.” 

Armin hummed, twisted his fingers into Eren’s hair and kissed him firmly on his cheekbone, “It’s alright, I’m not going to either.” His cheeks were flushed pink and Eren brought his wrist to his lips and kissed him gingerly, thrusts becoming more erratic. Eren took Armin’s cock in hand and stroked him while Armin twisted in his grip. “Eren, god- Eren, I love you so much.” 

It set Eren over the edge. He buried himself as deep as he could inside of Armin and came with a strangled shout and a string of curse words, Armin spilling over his hand with a much more delicate whine. “Holy shit. Holy shit, that was incredible.” Eren panted against Armin’s collarbone. “We should’ve fucked ages ago.” 

“Don’t be so crass.” Armin flicked his ear but his voice held a laugh. 

Eren grinned at him, kissed him deep and passionate, “I should’ve _made love to you_ ages ago.” He pulled out of Armin slowly and Armin winced, “Are you okay?”

“Little sore.” Armin admitted, “And messy. Feels sort of gross down there now.” He wrinkled his nose and laughed. Eren leaned over the side of the bed, almost falling out of it and came up with his old shirt from the day before. “So romantic!” Armin covered his mouth with his fingertips.

Eren let the shirt fall onto Armin’s face, “I’m not letting you out of this bed all day, you have to make do with this.”

Armin cleaned himself up while Eren curled up on his side, fingers gently brushing Armin’s hair out of his face, still damp with sweat. “You meant that? When you said that you love me?” He let his index finger dance over the bridge of Armin’s upturned nose. 

Armin’s eyes were wide, turned on Eren with an honesty that made Eren blush. “Of course I did, I wouldn’t say that if I didn’t mean it.” 

Eren shrugged, pulling Armin’s body tight against his own, “Didn’t know if it was a heat of the moment thing or something.” He mumbled, but inside he felt a contentedness that made him smile into Armin’s hair. 

“Ridiculous.” Armin tapped Eren’s chest but let out a wide yawn, “We need to get leave the bed though unfortunately. You have a shift at the park and I’m gonna swing by the hospital to check on everyone.”

Eren glanced down at his wrist at the watch that wasn’t there from his last shift at the waterpark and let out a dramatic sigh, “I’m working the teen night, I don’t have to be there until five.” 

“So-”

“So nap first.” Eren demanded and Armin laughed, but it was muffled against Eren’s skin. 

“Okay, nap first.”


End file.
